Asking for Moola
By Kim Hamer | November 19, 2009
You have a relative; a parent, an in-law, an aunt who you think might be willing to help you pay for your child’s private school education. But every time you think about asking for funding you get a funky feeling in your stomach, your heart rate goes up and your hands begin to quake. You think of all the reasons they will NOT to gift you the money and wonder if you even deserve it. These feelings are often followed by thoughts of hopelessness. You think “Why bother! I’ll figure this out myself.”
The bad news is that if you let those feelings take charge then you will be right. The bad news is that you have already made up a scenario in your head that is not based in reality but in guilt.
The good news is there is a way to ask for what you need AND maintain your pride. You can do it with confidence and sincerity, two key characteristics for people saying YES to you.
Follow these five steps and there could be a pot of gold at the end of your rainbow.
1. Call a Meeting
Could you imagine a business looking for funding, springing the idea on potential investors? It wouldn’t go well. It won’t go well if you do the same to your potential investor in your child’s education. Schedule a meeting and tell them what it will be about. To make it more official, set up lunch at a restaurant or go to their home at time you wouldn’t normally be there. Make it different from the “normal” time you might spend with them.
2. Explain Your Product
Businesses looking for funding have to explain to investors what they are investing in. My kids are the only ones in my husband’s family that attend private school. Therefore, this is a foreign idea to my in-laws. Before I met with them, I wrote down all the benefits my kids are receiving from being in a private school. For me, private schools offer the following:
a) Smaller classroom sizes
b) Individual attention to cater to my children’s needs
c) A sharper education as compared with public schools as a whole in Los Angeles
d) After my husband’s death, the community that supported us was life saving. At this crucial time in their lives, my children can remain in that community and continue to recieve support from individuals who intimately know and care about them.
e) The Head of my kid’s elementary school recently checked in with me and set up a meeting with him and with my kids four teachers. We will talk about the kids and how the teachers can offer additional support to my kids during this difficult transition.
f) Clear educational goals of the schools. I think my children are learning better and more effectively than if they had been in public school because each school has clear, unique educational goals for its students.
Hint: To make your list, ask friends who are applying to private school to list their reasons and read the schools brochures.
3. Discuss How Helping With Tuition Will Benefit Your Child and Them
Because private school is all about your child! This takes the pressure off of you and can relieve your feelings of not being a good enough parent (if you have them). Reiterate some of the reasons above, but also talk about other benefits. When considering your list, consider your audience and what’s important to them. A client of mine listed these three reasons to his aunt who valued an Ivy League education as well as meeting influential people:
a) Because of the rigorous education ___ (child’s name) has a much better chance of getting into an Ivy League college.
b) Private school will give ____ the opportunity to meet parents who can help him find internships in areas he is interested in. Thus giving him a chance to dabble in many different areas before he becomes clear on his major.
c) He will become comfortable around people with money, and therefore increase his chances of succeeding because he won’t feel like he doesn’t belong.
Your reasons may be entirely different. Just be sure to consider your audience and ask yourself, what return on investment (ROI) are they getting?
4. Tell Them How Much You Need And For How Long
How much you need for private school tuition is a personal decision. Maybe you want to apply for financial aid for ¼ of the tuition but really need about ½ of the tuition to make it affordable. Maybe you want them to cover all of elementary school, or all of high school. Make sure to discuss future plans like how you intend to pay for college. Will you borrow against your house? Have enough in savings by then? This is your opportunity to put all these numbers down on paper to see if they are feasible.
Show them their options. Anyone can give you a gift of $13,000 without worrying about being taxed. Your investor may be able to pay the school directly and avoid tax implications as well. Perhaps you’ll want to structure a loan. Make sure you research and offer options to your investor and give them the opportunity to choose which option works best for them.
5. Hand Them Something In Writing
Do not expect to receive an answer right away. Hand them something in writing so that they can crunch numbers and consider this in their own way, without you around. Set a specific day that you will contact them to follow-up. This can be the most nerve wracking part of the process, so decide HOW you will contact them before they leave the room; email, phone, or in person.
If you are fortunate enough to have a family member who can possibly pay for your child’s education, then follow these five steps and you will be off to a good start! Make sure to balance the pros and cons before you do ask. In some families it’s just better not to ask at all, while in others, all you need to do is ask! So consider your family and circumstances before you make a decision!
Your PS (Private School) Action Plan For This Week:
- 1. Identify a family member who may be able to help you afford private school.
- 2. List 7 benefits of a private school education. Make sure that three of them are ones that your potential investor shares.
- 3. Schedule a meeting with the potential investor.
- 4. Prepare well for the meeting.
- 5. Be sure to thank him or her graciously for taking the time to consider your request.
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Hello, your website has a lot of useful information for the every day reader. Thank you and keep up the posts.